Cream Corn & Jelly Donuts

It’s a bit strange…

…many of my memories from my childhood are tied to food, but not all in a good way. For example, “cream corn” – reminds me of the bus ride to Arizona when my mom decided to chase after her boyfriend, Wayne who decided to run away to Phoenix with my then babysitter.

Or “jelly donuts” - a food that I will probably go the rest of my life without eating - only because of the memories I have of this being the only food we had, at times, while living on the streets in Arizona. I remember dumpster diving in the large dumpsters behind bakeries to get the large, black garbage bags full of day-old donuts – mostly jelly-filled. Sometimes we would mix it up and go behind Burger King or McDonald’s and jump in the large dumpsters full of Big Macs or Whoppers that sat under the heat lamp too long. Strange enough, I have no problem eating either of the two hamburgers – just jelly donuts.

I’m the middle child so…

Birth order was pivotal in the distribution of food among me and my brothers when we were poor. Eating cereal, usually, an exciting time for little kids was all about birth order. Luckily, I’m the middle child so my lot wasn’t that bad, but my poor little brother didn’t always fare so well. My older brother would get to pour his cereal and milk and eat to his heart’s content. Once he finished, he would slide the bowl of milk (what was left) to me, and I would add cereal to it for my meal. After that, and hopefully, with enough to cover the cereal, Brett would get the leftover milk from me. This was something we grew up to think was normal.

We were just grateful, most of the time, to have enough cereal for all three of us to eat our own, unlike the many times when all three of us would pass the same bowl of cereal around hoping to get at least two or three bites. ‘Til this day, we’re pretty territorial over our cereal. Imagine how blown our minds were when we moved in with my grandparents where we not only each got our own bowl of cereal with our own milk, but we got a slice of toast to go with.

Who wants seconds?

Don’t even get me started on the notion of “seconds.” To three kids who barely ate every day, having multiple meals a day was a big enough adjustment, but when we were offered second helpings for the first time, it felt like we were being mocked. It took us some time to adjust to the security of knowing there would be a “next” meal. We eventually ceased gorging at every meal as though it would be our last.

You’re not starving.

I’ve grown not to be so sensitive to the common phrase “I’m starving” which used to irk me because I actually knew what it was like to go days without eating, and I just always thought people were being incredibly insensitive without knowing what my situation had been.

I have to admit that there are still habits that I have from my childhood that have stayed with me from my “hunger days.” I still finish every bite on my plate, even if I’m full. I have, however; learned to take less onto my plate. It still bothers me to throw food away or see people throw food away. I still get very angry when I have to throw spoiled food away because I didn’t use it up fast enough. I am the person that sympathizes with the hungry person on the side of the road. I know that sometimes “anything helps” really does mean ANYTHING helps – food included.

Changing my relationship with food…

I have some great memories of food, too. Like when my gramma would make Malt-O-Meal on cold snowy days and we would dip a buttered triangle piece of toast in it. Or, how she makes the perfect cheesy, scrambled eggs. Or her goulash, that gets better every day than the one before. One of my favorite dishes has to be my grandpa’s famous red chili – it’s the best.

Food is a right.

I have an immense appreciation for food and I’ve always been an activist of equal rights. While there are so many people fighting for the right to live, love and die the way they want, I believe equal rights should begin with equal rights to shelter, water and FOOD. Remember, you never know when someone’s last meal was or how long it may be until their next. Feed someone today, love someone today.