Let’s talk about leveling up your squad. You know—the people in your life who either fuel your growth or hold you back.

I’ve been there. At different points in my life, I’ve had to step back, re-evaluate my circle (especially the women in my life), and make some tough calls. It’s not easy—making new friends as an adult is tricky, and figuring out whether the people around you are helping or hurting you can be just as challenging.

But if you want to grow into the best version of yourself, this is a conversation worth having.

The Five-Person Rule: Who’s in Your Circle?

You’ve probably heard the saying: You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.

When I first sat down and took inventory of my circle, I had a tough realization—I didn’t actually like the majority of the people I was around. I wasn’t learning from them, I wasn’t growing, and I didn’t feel positively influenced in any way. The worst part? A lot of them were colleagues, meaning I couldn’t just cut them out of my life.

That’s when a friend said something that changed my whole perspective: It’s not just the people physically around you who shape your growth—it’s also the media you consume.

That means the YouTubers you watch, the books you read, the podcasts you listen to—these are also part of your squad. If the people you physically spend time with don’t inspire you, lean into the influences that do.

Are Your People an Asset or a Liability?

Think about who you want to be, how you want to show up in this world. Are the people that you're spending time with and the influences you're bringing into your space allowing you to be the best version of yourself?

Now, it’s time to take a real look at the people in your life. Ask yourself:

Do they energize me, or do they drain me?
Do they support my dreams and goals, or do they shut them down?
Can I be my authentic self around them, or do I feel like I have to shrink?

I had a friend who was also an entrepreneur, and I really wanted to support her. But every time I shared my business goals, she shot them down with negativity. Eventually, I realized that while I enjoyed her company in other ways, entrepreneurship just wasn’t a topic we could discuss.

Not every friendship needs to end, but every relationship should be placed in the right category. Some people are “all-access,” and others need limited engagement.

Aligning Your Circle with Your Values

I talk a lot about values because they matter. When evaluating your squad, don’t just look at shared interests—look at shared values. And no, I don’t mean you have to agree on everything.

Some of my closest friends have completely different political and religious views than I do. But what we do share? Honesty, integrity, kindness, loyalty.

Differences in opinions can lead to growth. But if someone’s presence in your life is causing you to compromise your values or making you feel less than, that’s a problem.

If you’re not even sure what your values are, then it’s time to write your Value Statement. You can learn how by watching this video.

How to Set Boundaries (Without Drama)

Sometimes, you realize that someone in your life is not good for you, but cutting them off isn’t an option—maybe it’s a family member, a boss, or a long-time friend. Here’s what you can do:

Limit Their Influence – If you have to be around someone who drains you, control how much time and energy you give them. (Note: this can be tricky with co-workers we are forced to be around, so do the best you can to protect your peace.)
Shift the Conversation – Not every topic has to be discussed with every person. If someone is consistently negative about a certain area of your life, steer clear of that topic with them.
Put Up an Energy Barrier – Decide that their negativity is theirs, not yours. Let their comments roll off without sticking to you.

If you do need to end a friendship, do it with intention. I actually have a whole video on How to Break Up with Your Best Friend.

No One Friend Can Be Everything

Here’s a game-changer: You don’t need one friend to meet all your needs. Think of your circle like a balanced meal:

The Deep Thinker – The one you can have hours-long conversations with about life’s big questions.
The Fun Friend – The one who keeps things light and brings pure joy. This friend can be your social butterfly friend who gets your out of the house on a Friday night. ( I have a “Sunday Brunch” friend who is the best for light and breezy social gatherings.)
The Adventurer – The one who pushes you to try new things and step outside your comfort zone.
The Career-Minded Friend – The one who understands your ambitions and encourages your professional growth.
The Vault Friend - This is the friend you can share anything with and tell all your secrets to.

Each friendship plays a role. Stop expecting one person to be everything for you, and instead, build a circle that complements all aspects of who you are.

It’s Time to Level Up

If your squad doesn’t inspire, uplift, or support you, it’s time to make some shifts. Remember, you get to choose who has access to your energy.

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers. But most of all, surround yourself with those who seek greatness within you, even when you don't see it yourself.” - Edmund Lee

So, take inventory, set boundaries, and start curating a circle that reflects the best version of you. And if you need a little more inspo on how to Level Up Your Squad, check out the video here!

Ready to level up your squad? Join the waitlist for my upcoming membership, where you'll connect with growth-minded women, build lasting friendships, and be part of a supportive community. Plus, you'll have the opportunity to work directly with me to boost your confidence and start living your best life. Don’t miss out—sign up now!

If this resonated with you, make sure to subscribe to my blog by dropping your email below. And for more real talk, check out TruthatudeTV on YouTube—I’ll see you over there!

How to Level Up Your Squad: Making Friends as an Adult and Choosing the Right People to Elevate Your Life