What do you believe and why?

When you ask yourself "what are my values?" or "what do I believe in?", what comes to mind? What if someone asked you to write down the values by which you live? Could you come up with them easily? 

And I'm talking about more than the generic "do the right thing" (cuz what does that even mean? It's certainly not the same for everyone) and more than "be honest" and "be a good person." What are the rules by which you conduct yourself? How do you make your choices?  I mean, let's get down to the nitty gritty of it. What values do you adhere to that make you the best version of YOU?

I believe you need to have your values written down and always on hand as a reminder to live true to yourself and also to use as a gauge for the different life situations that you may encounter. 

What is a Value Statement?

I was taught a very powerful exercise, and it has significantly impacted the way I handle myself. I went through the exercise of writing my "value statement" - all of the things I believe to the core of my being. Beliefs and standards I hold that help me determine which choice to make in difficult situations. I ask myself, “does this job, relationship, friendship allow me to live my values?” “If I make this decision, will I be living true to my personal standards?”

For example, my core values are “Faith, Love, Passion and Integrity.” I strive to live within the values every day. I also value my freedom above all else. I believe “I am not bound by the limitations of others. I am a loyal, loving and encouraging friend." These are just a few examples within my value statement.

 This has become the best tool I use to determine what to hold onto or let go of in my life. And it will do the same for you.

In fact, I think it is so critical to reinforce my values, that I made it part of my morning ritual. Each day when I have my morning coffee, I reread my value statement. And throughout the day if needed, I read it as a way to keep myself in check. I keep in on my phone and in my email so I can access it at any time. And, because I am an ever-changing person in constant growth mode, I have updated this multiple times and it continues to be a working document.

Living in Alignment

I encourage you to take some time to really sit and think this out. What are your values? What's important to you? What are your non-negotiables? What are the standards you live by? And don't bullshit yourself by writing what you think sounds good or what you think you're supposed to believe. If you're truly honest with yourself, you will get uncomfortable with this exercise. That's okay! In fact, that's great!! Because you'll probably realize that you haven't been entirely living up to your own standards. Don’t get down on yourself if that’s the case. This is the perfect opportunity to grow.

Now the tricky part is when you begin to use your value statement to assess the life you’re living. Ask yourself, “is this person I'm dating, is this job I'm doing, is this friendship I'm hanging onto allowing me to live true to my values? Am I in alignment?”

Do not get discouraged if you find that most of your life is out of whack with your values. Most of us are conditioned to do what we're told and to believe what society deems as acceptable. Instead, you can feel empowered because now, you've recognized it and now have a solid definition of your values in writing. This can be your personal diagnostic system, if you will. 

Things Will Start to Shift

The more you use it and live by your value statement, the easier it gets. At first, it may be difficult - you may lose relationships, decide a job change is needed or even pack up and move, or even something as small as make THAT phone call - you know which one I mean. (I even use it for small decisions like, should I go out on Friday night instead of hanging in with a movie and my puppy.)

Things will start to shift as you really check yourself and start living your values. When you know your values through and through, you'd be surprised at how much easier making decisions becomes and how much more confident you'll start to feel. You'll make decisions more quickly and efficiently as well. 

You’ll start to build relationships with people who align with your values and you'll find it easier to let go of those who don't. You'll also learn to accept those who may not share your values but you still want in your life.

Just Get Started

If you're not sure where to start, just begin by finding your favorite "alone space", take a pen and paper and start writing several sentences each beginning with "I believe..." and free write until you've really gotten into "the zone". If you get stuck, leave the paper out somewhere accessible and come back to it. 

For me, I had my values come to me at random times and I would jot them on stickies so I could add them to my document later.

The sooner you get started on writing your values, the quicker you can begin living alignment with them. You'll be on your way to a more confident and empowered self. You'll be "Stayin' true to the Truthatude." Your Truthatude.

Curious on how to get started? Check out the Truthatude TV episode “Living In Alignment: How to Write Your Personal Value Statement.”