When I decided to drive across the country for a brand new start, people thought I was crazy, reckless and going to fail. Others commented on how brave I was but asked all the usual questions: 

“Do you have a job lined up?” 

“Do you know anyone there?” 

To both I answered, “Nope!” I just went. 

I remember sitting in the kitchen with my then best friend, Fresh talking about moving to Florida. She gave me the push I needed. She pointed at the calendar and said, “Just pick a date.” 

So I did just that. November 1st. 

Literally no one but she knew I was planning to move. I would leave Colorado on November 1st (literally drove away at midnight in a blizzard) and never look back. 

In the months before I left, I started getting rid of everything I owned. I gave a ton of stuff away and had multiple yard sales. I even invited people over to “go shopping” in my house. I was only taking what could fit in my tiny little Camry. 

I purposely didn’t tell anyone I was leaving because I had been so used to the resistance I’d gotten from sharing my dreams in the past.

So I kept quiet. Silent. Making plans. 

When I was totally ready for my journey, I decided to have a going away party to say my goodbyes to the people I thought would support me. 

No one came. Literally. No one. 

This made my decision to leave all the more easier. I had felt so isolated while living in Colorado and this slight only solidified the feeling. 

The next step was telling my family. So I called up my Gram and said we hadn’t had the family over in a while so we should do a Sunday dinner. She agreed.

So the next Sunday with my car halfway packed for the journey, I drove up to my grandparents’ house. As my cousins ran around and the grownups sat around the kitchen table, I casually stated “I think I want to move to Florida.” 

I got exactly what I expected from my family. They are who they are. I knew what they would say.

 “What?! You’re not moving to Florida.”

 “You’ll fall flat on your face.”

 “How stupid are you?”

All to which I replied, “Actually I am moving to Florida….tomorrow. This was just me coming over to say ‘goodbye’.”

They were shocked. And pissed. Especially my Gramma - the dramatic. But I held my ground and said my goodbyes. I didn’t offer any explanation for their streams of questions. I just said that I would “figure it out” like I had done with everything else in my life. 

So November 1st came. I got in my car and drove away at midnight in a blizzard. I drove for three days not knowing exactly where I would land. I literally had $300 in my bank account and no job prospects. 

But, I had faith and I was acutely aware of what my life could continue to be if I didn’t take the chance.

So I went for it. 

It was hard to find my footing. Really fucking hard. But, I asked for help and got it from some really unexpected places. I met some amazing angels who believed in my potential and encouraged my dreams. 

Now, I’m living and continuing to build my best life - according to me. And only me.  

I share this story with you because I believe that the worst advice out there is “be realistic.”

If I had listened to the “good advice” given to me so many times, I wouldn’t be where I am today - living the life of my own design. 

Most people mean well when they tell you to be careful or to have realistic expectations, but they are working within their own experiences and limitations. 

Although well-intended, some advice is better tossed than taken. 

Just think of all the amazing inventions that started out as unrealistic dreams. The internet was not “realistic,” but now it’s the lifeline of our society. 

Dreams are not supposed to be realistic. But, I do offer that you be strategic about your dreams. 

Dream big - scary big. But, create a strategy. 

Keep your dreams to yourself until you have at least a skeleton strategy. Then enlist the help of supporters. Once your dream starts to take shape, then tell everyone about it. Get used to rebutting the naysayers and buddy up to your cheerleaders. 

Take advice from other dreamers.

Especially those who have the results you want. Never take advice from people who don’t have the results you’re looking for. If they have never tried to do what you’re doing or haven’t been successful in chasing their dreams, they are not your people. 

Yes, dreams are scary. But they are what makes life worth living. You don’t have to know where you’re going or how you’ll get there. Just get the car moving. 

Like I did. No job. No plans. No contacts. I just drove to Florida. And it was the best, dumb, crazy decision I have ever made. 

I am a proud risk-taker and I have ignored endless amounts of “good advice” to get me where I am today. Some of the worst advice I’ve gotten time and time again was “be realistic.”

I’m not reckless by any means, but I am a dreamer - a strategic dreamer with the keen ability to make shit happen.

Some of the worst advice you can get is “be realistic” but the best advice I can offer you is “believe in yourself and build an army of people who believe in you.”

The next time someone tells you to be realistic, tune them out. They are only projecting their fears and limitations onto you. In a world of vultures, be a songbird. Sing your hopes out loud and proud. Dream on, babe. Dream with a strategy and create your own path. Believe in you! Live true to your Truthatude.

Although well-intended, some advice is better tossed than taken.

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