We’ve all encountered our share of setbacks and betrayals - the people and circumstances that made it harder for us to realize our dreams, but we must honor them as part of our journey. 

Many of us can look back and recognize that those setbacks and betrayals were often the catalysts for our next great opportunity. 

I got fired once from a job that I was really good at and that I loved. I was let go without cause or without reason. Because my boss saw me as a threat and a star that was shining brighter than him, he gave me the opportunity to resign. And that’s just what it was - an opportunity.

Of course, I didn’t see it at the time. I was heartbroken and felt so betrayed. What happened and the way it happened was unjust. But, I look back now and can honestly say, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. 

It created the space I needed to rediscover my purpose and what I really wanted to do with my time and talent. I’m now able to be more authentic and congruent than I have ever been. That betrayal led to one of many “I’ll show them” moments.

What’s yours going to be? 

Be grateful for your doubters, disbelievers, and non-supporters; they are essential to your success.

So hold onto those moments of hurt - those people and circumstances. Hold onto them long enough to use their hate, doubt, and disapproval as motivation. But be careful not to hold on so long that it turns into resentment. 

Walk lighter. Acknowledge the people that have let you down or discouraged you, for they too, were instrumental in your learning and then release them with gratitude.

To the people who did NOT get me where I am today. thank you for the courage to seek out my next opportunity fearlessly.

To the abusers who made me fight for my life, thank you for the strength to get back up the next time I’m knocked down.

To the boss who sees my talent as a threat and who doesn’t see the value in my achievements, thank you for catapulting me into my next big deal that encourages my full potential.

To my absent father who walked away and never wanted me, thank you for teaching me that I can trust the next man who does show up for me. 

To my mother who was too enveloped in her own pain to love me, thank you for showing me how to value myself as a woman and to guide the next woman I meet to love herself better. 

To the job that helped me realize there was something more fulfilling I could do with my talent and potential; thank you for being the catalyst for my next power move.

To the numerous men I’ve dated, the great and not, thank you for refining my standards for who I want to be with. My next man will be everything I loved about you and nothing that I didn’t. 

To the teacher who called me “slow” and told me I’d never be anything, thank you. I can’t wait to show you what I do next.

Spite and vindication can be powerful tools for motivation, in the temporary.

I caution you, do not linger there. It is not sustainable. You must develop an intrinsic drive that can only come from being very clear on your values. 

Regardless of what life throws at you when you begin to live in a space of gratitude, things shift. You’ll feel more empowered when things go wrong or people hurt you. You will recognize them as a blessing. 

So to the haters and trying times, use them for inspiration, and then release them with gratitude.

Whisper softly to yourself, “thank you. next…”