Starting a new relationship comes with its fair amount of anxiety all year-round, but if you’ve coupled up just before the holiday season, you may be feeling a pinch more pressure - especially when it comes to making joint holiday plans. Here are some simple tips to help invite your new boo home for the holidays:

Keep it light & casual

Keep the conversation light and casual by asking him what his plans are for the upcoming holiday or what his family typically does to celebrate the season.

Focus on the occasion NOT your relationship

Keep the conversation focused on the upcoming holiday and not about this big milestone in your relationship. This will alleviate the pressure that typically mounts around the subject of meeting one’s family.

Re-enforce your sexy confidence by having your own plans

Reduce pressure by having your own plans – whether he joins you or not, having a “take it or leave it” mentality will make the conversation less heavy. You’ll look confident since you have plans and are secure with him having other plans as well. You’ll both have a great time with your family.

So how do you start the conversation to invite your new boyfriend home for the holidays?

Keep the conversation light and casual by asking him what his plans are for the upcoming holiday or what his family typically does to celebrate the season. If his answer indicates that he has plans already then you can simply share with him what you’ll be doing for the holiday. You can still extend the invitation while acknowledging that he already has plans.

This is also the perfect opportunity to suggest meeting up for a drink on New Year’s Eve to catch up on how both of your holidays went. What this does is takes the pressure off of him thinking he needs to attend and it also plants the seed for the New Year’s Eve date.

Now if he doesn’t have plans, you can begin by adding in a funny anecdote about your family which is a good way to infuse some humor and great lead into offering the invitation for him to join your family. By doing this, it makes the focus about the holiday and not about your relationship thus reducing any pressure surrounding the invitation to meet your family.

You’re making the gesture out of kindness and about wanting him to enjoy the holiday and that’s what it should be about. It shows that you’re warm and caring and just want him to have a nice holiday. It’s a time to enjoy being with the people you care about and not about adding another drop of pressure to an already loaded season.

Finally, you must come across completely divested with whatever his answer may be. You must be secure enough to feel good spending this year separately because it will show him a confident, independent side of you. If the relationship is new and things are going well, maybe this time next year, he’ll be inviting you home to meet his family if you haven’t already.

These simple yet effective tips will help you ask your new boyfriend home for the holidays in a cool and calm manner while enforcing your power as a confident woman.